Alright Mum?

Okay, before you read what I'm about to tell you, sit down and remember all the great emails you told me about how grown up I'm becoming, and how I've changed so much.. Please.

This week I decided to cut my own hair, and went through with it.

I promise it's not terrible, I did okay.  I mean, it's not anything I'd pay to get at a barber.. but I didn't have to go and get it fixed.  That's the good news. The bad news is that I underestimated just how short the longest guard was on the shaver... I really don't have any hair left, and you might have to come over here and kill me. I'll attach a picture for you. Haha I'm just thinking about all the squirming and the groaning you're doing right now.  That's pretty funny.  I, on the other hand, have always loved buzz cuts.  Although, nobody in the states, including my girlfriend like the idea of me without hair.  Guess you'll have to live with it.  The other bad news for you is that I didn't traumatize myself to never do it again, in fact, I think I'll give it like a transfer, and do it again, except better, because I've learned a few things about cutting hair now.

Alright. Breathe.

I finally got my camera checked out and the guy told me it wasn't worth fixing, so I bought a new one at a secondhand shop, and it's good.  I had to use all of my money I had left though, because on Friday we went to the Gadfield Elm Chapel and Benbow Pond, so I had to buy my camera.  That meant that today I had enough money to buy two loaves of bread.. for the rest of the week.  But don't worry, I always buy canned food and I have a large supply that will last me through this week.  I'll try really hard to get a bunch of dinner appointments as well, so you don't have to worry.  I haven't gotten my package yet, but that's not because it hasn't arrived.  I'm almost sure it has.  But the zone leaders don't go to the mission home super often, and they're the ones that would pick it up for me.  So I'll probably be getting it tomorrow or the next day.  But I've been trying to take a bunch of pictures to make up for the apostasy of photography.  I'll send you a bunch today.  I also just sent in a letter with reimbursements for travel, and I should be getting £50 by the end of the week, so don't worry about money.  Breathe.

A suit.  I'm tempted.  I still don't know how often I wear suits.. because when it rains I just wear coats and rainjackets with a white shirt and tie underneath.. But I do have to wear them twice a week, once to district meeting and once to church, and if I want to look especially nice sometime in between the two meetings.  I think I will get one soon.  But I'm going to go to a million different places and try on a million different suits until I find one that is exactly what I want.  I'm thinking blue.  Or grey.  One of the two.  Like a nice, light grey, or a dark navy blue.  We'll see.  Most of my stuff matches the grey better, but I like the idea of blue with the reddish brown shoes and belt.  That look is really nice.  I'll definitely get a suit sometime.  I just don't know how soon it will be.  Stop worrying about that.  Breathe.

This week was kind of bleh.  My planning made it seem like it was going to be a really good week, but everything decided to fall through right before it was supposed to happen.  So it was really.. annoying.  This week should go really good.  But I wasn't able to see Patrick, my german and Elder Tanner (one of the elders in Warwick) went and saw him while I was on exchange with Elder McKnight. We were going to see him three times and put him on a baptismal date, and have a really great week, but then he decided to go to London on Tuesday and stay til Sunday night.  Awesome.  Then we planned on seeing Kerstin, the Hungarian girl, and that fell through, and we also tried contacting this potential investigator that was really solid, but she wasn't in.  (Before you ask, she's maybe a little younger than Adrienne, but has twins that are just little babies.  We're going to contact her tomorrow, if it kills us.)  Everything was just really grey this week.  Especially the sky.  It's pitch black dark at about 7:00 nowadays.  And the rest of the day it rains. or drizzles. or does this weird misty rain thing, that i really don't like.  I don't like rain, Mom.  I'm pretty sure I was sent here to humble the heck out of me.

Michele is good though.  She got really good home teachers.  One is the branch president, and the other is a former branch president.. So I don't have to worry about her at all.  She's going to be such an awesome member.  A definite "kingdom-builder."  So I'm really happy about that.  Patrick will be too, eventually.

Don't worry about the under armour.  If it fits in some future package, send it, but if not, don't worry about it.  It is cold. But I can handle it.  Even though I'm your little baby boohoo, I'm also a big boy now too.  One day maybe I'll be a man... Doubt it.  I'll probably still try to cut my own hair.  Haha hopefully I marry some one that can cut my hair, cause if not, I think I'll have to live with whatever I can do to my hair.

I'm glad you're back from Arkansas, I missed you.

Yeah the Patriarchal Blessing is pretty solid.  Not very much room for sinning.  Guess I'll just have to stop doing that.  Sinning, I mean.

I already have three baptisms.. that's one way to say it.  Or we could say that I've been blessed to see three incredible people make covenants with God, so that one day they can live with Him again.  As much as I'd like to take credit for any of it, they were all so prepared, so give the pat on the back to Christ.  He's pretty amazing.

Aunt Chris in Hawaii.  Haha, she knows how to do missions.  That one fits her personality so well.  She'll fit right in with the jolly Hawaiians.  I'm jealous of the food that she'll get too.  I like Aunt Chris. Give her a hug for me.

I'm really glad to hear about Laura, she sent me an email and I'm going to read it after I send this one to you.  I bet she was more than relieved to hear that she was healing properly.  Take a million more pictures with Tess.  I love pictures.  And I love my little nieces and nephews.  There's a good correlation here, I think. 

Speaking of my sisters though, how's Brooke?  How'd this weekend go? Is she okay?  Did Phil call and freak out?  You really can't just have my President talk me down like that and then kick me out of the loop.  How is she?  I've been praying really really hard for her all week.  I hope everything went alright.

Me and Remy are in the same boat.  I think I'm a little bit better at handling it though.  I woke up really flemmy, and with a sore throat.  But.. it's P Day, and I'm not staying in.  Maybe tomorrow if it gets any worse.  Poor little girl.  I hear that people don't really dress up or trick or treat as much over here.. But I don't know. I haven't been here for Halloween yet.

Five years. Poop, indeed.  But he's probably a really super awesome missionary right now, and I'm sure he's helping me out a lot too.

I love you Momma. I'll send pictures in just a moment.

Love,

Elder Smart

Well, I work the library like a boss.

So I'm back on.

To continue:

You don't need to tell me all about Phil, cause it really doesn't matter, I'll find out about it when I get back, and by then, hopefully all the feelings have simmered a bit.  Including my own.

So to answer your other questions, I don't have any pictures, I made Elder Houghton and Elder Wrenger take a bunch of pictures, and told them to send them to me, cause.. well.. I haven't been able to get my camera fixed yet.  I know, I know.. do it. I'm just kind of a busy guy.  But they'll come soon enough.  And I'll get the camera done this week hopefully.

Patrick is doing really great, we got him to admit that he knows it's all true.  He's just scared to commit to this because in his life things that seem too good to be true, usually are.. and he's having a hard time swallowing the concept of literally everyone wanting to help him.  It just seems unreal to him I think, and over his lifetime he's built up some real trust issues that we're going to go right ahead and break down. Haha, he'll be baptized while I'm still here.  I'm almost sure of it.  He's awesome, and what he actually needs is a calling.  He would love to be involved somehow.. he just needs to get baptized first.  So that's something we're going to work on this week.  We're going to set a date for him and tell him that we're all going to work towards that.  It'll probably be about a month from now. That seems like an appropriate amount of time. He didn't come to the baptism, cause he was busy, but that's alright. I don't know if I would've been able to find him a ride anyways.  He's way solid, and super cute with some of the little primary aged kids at church.  Remy and Stockton would probably love him.

Hallelujah, yes. They do fill up the fonts here, and I appreciated that, greatly.  One time.  That's all it took. (Sometimes baptisms are somewhat.. anti-climactic.)  Haha but the water was hot this time, and everything was just perfect.

Brother Payne is awesome, he was one of my great sunday school teachers.  What do you tell people?  Do you say, he's cold, wet, and hungry, but that he loves it?  Cause that's what you should say.  This week it has gotten crazy bitter cold.  And the heavens opened up.  But not in a good way.  The winter has started, and it's freezing here.  Which means it will be freezing for about the next.. forever. Oh and dark.  It's pitch black outside at like seven.  And apparently that only gets worse til it's like four in the afternoon, and all the way dark already.  Funnnnn... That'll make finding such an enjoyable thing to do.  I guess I'll just have to do all my finding now so that I can just teach all the way through winter.  Haha and spend my time in the nice warm font.

It's crazy that friends are already coming home from their missions.  But I'm glad that I still have time on mine.  They'll be awesome for the ward. When we all get back, there's probably going to be a large influx of missionary work in Hidden Oaks I think.  Or maybe just a lot of marriages.. eww.

It would be pretty awesome to do my testimony in a "british" accent.  (I put quotes around that because there isn't a "british" accent, that would mean that everyone from scotland, wales, england and northern Ireland would all sound the exact same.. and trust me.. they don't.  Not even everyone from England sounds the same.  It's crazy!  Cities have their own accents.)  But I was also thinking about doing it in a bunch of different languages.  I think that'd be fun.  Cause I definitely don't only teach English people.  That's for sure.  I'm writing down all the different nationalities that I meet.  And that means like hold a conversation with, not just see.. and I'm up to like 35 already.  It's nuts. 

While it's on my mind, I've been meaning to tell you my entire mission that there are about one million sugar-plums in England.  BMW station wagons are still cool here. You'd be in heaven.  Or you will be in heaven, I guess, when you take me back here after my mission. (: Thanks Mom, Thanks Mom, Thanks Mom.

I actually just got to chat with Laura for a little while, and probably added to her lack of rest a bit.  She was up in the middle of the night talking to her little brother.  Dorkface.  But I loved it.  She actually seemed real.  Sometimes I feel like an orphan out here, and that I'm just going to be a missionary in England for the rest of forever.  I know I should like the idea of missionary work forever.. but I'm glad that I'll be home in a year and a half haha.

And yes. I can believe that Stockton is jealous.  Is Hank too?

How is Hank?  Does he just sleep all day?  He's getting pretty old.  He's over ten now.  That's pretty crazy.  I hope he's still alive when I get home.  Can you make sure he is? Thanks.  If not, just get him bronzed.  You can position him like he's eating all of your garbage.  You know he loves to do that.

Arkansas sounds like it'll be good and good for you.  I'm glad you're going, but I hope that Brooke is alright.  This has to be the toughest, craziest week of her life.  But, as usual, the best cousins award goes to Houston and Megan.  Those two are so awesome.

Prayers all around.  And just so you all know.  I literally pray for each of you, every morning and every night, individually by name.  It's almost annoying how much I care about you.

I really like that Remy helps.

I'm glad some one at home likes my dog.  Give him a pat or two this week.. for me.  Also, I want to hear the "Hi Mimi!"  Will you have Brooke film it and send it to me?

Alright, I've spilled my whole guts to you.  I think that's enough.  Oh.. I guess I found some one else to teach this week as well.. She's Hungarian, and she's going to Uni around here.  She seems really cool, her parents are mormon I guess, and told her to get in contact with us, because we could help her.  And we can. And will.  And hopefully we'll have another baptism here pretty soon.

That's all.

I love you Mom, I hope you know that.

Love,

Elder Smart

Hey Momma!

Hey hey hey, I'm the missionary, and the favorite.  I taught two classes at church on Sunday, and didn't know about either of them until I was at Church, so I think I've got her beat.  Especially cause one of them was in Relief Society.  Okay, I didn't completely teach that, but the teacher had all of the missionaries get up and tell everyone why they came on a mission.  So we did, and also took the opportunity (each of us) to mention how great conference was and just how much the Prophet and Apostles talked about missionary work and how important members are to us.

So the big news!  Michele is a member of the church! How amazing is that? She has been baptized for the remission of her sins, and she's been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  Our church is so cool.  Jesus is the man.  Is that a sacrilege? Oh well, He is.  I was able to perform the actual baptism, which was really cool, and really weird.  I always get chosen, and I don't know what to do about it, and I always get really nervous and think I'm going to forget the baptismal prayer right before I do it.  But I guess this is just fulfilling my Patriarchal Blessing.  There's a lot of stuff in my Patriarchal Blessing that I know was put in there for a reason.  Even reasons I didn't know of til now.  The Church is so cool.  Have I said that already?

So I was able to baptize her, and a man in the ward, Brother Gearing, was able to confirm her a member of the Church, and his blessing was amazing and talked a lot about Family History work and how her family was looking to her as a Savior for them.  I was really blessed to be able to be a part of that.  And Michele is soooo stinkin solid, I love it.  We did Fast and Testimony Meeting yesterday, although I accidently fasted the week before conference, so it was just Testimony Meeting for me, but either way, Michele got up and bore her testimony, and then in Relief Society did it again!! She talked a lot about how Elder Houghton and I literally found her like two days after a very desperate prayer to know what to do with her life.  Prayer works.  It's so amazing Mom.  Everything you taught me is the truth, and the Church is so true.  Thanks for being the best Mom for me, even when I was the crappy crap that I was.

I love the Book of Mormon.  You're right about me.. as always. Every day I make sure I read at least one chapter of it.  I have these set things that I've told myself I have to do, and that's one of them.  Preach My Gospel generally gets the rest of my time.  You need to read that, Mom, I don't know if you have or not, but it is so good, not only for missionaries but for everyone.  Go get yourself one, cause I stole all the ones we had at home. Sorry.  Actually, not sorry, they're being put to some pretty good use.

I loved that you basically bore your testimony to me.  It helps.  Please do that more often. And tell my sisters I'd like to hear it from them sometime too.  I always think of the time that you taught me that there are no coincidences, and there's not.  We were in that park for a reason, and Michele's whole salvation hinged on the fact that we decided to talk to her that day.  How crazy is that?  I'm here for a reason, and that's something that I definitely can't deny. 

Phil was weak. Straight up.  He did what many people on this Earth have done in the past.  He decided that the way to find out the truth about God was to ask people.  The only way to find out if God is there, and if He really loves us, is to ask HIM. Not a person, not a book, but to get on your knees and ask the Creator of the Universe.  That is the only way, and has always been the only way to know.  What Phil did was exactly what many people in history have done.  Some notable characters: King Henry VII who decided that his will was more important than God's, thus is born the most ridiculous church we come in contact with.  Church of England.  People really don't understand that it is such a joke that they're part of a church that even they understand was made by a man. Not God, a man.  And on top of that, for selfish reasons.  It's a joke, and I literally find it humorous that people belong to it.  Another few characters:  The Council of Nicaea.  They decided that God doesn't have a body and neither does His Son, and that they're actually one person along with the Holy Ghost.  That makes a bunch of sense doesn't it?

Anyways.

This is half of my message.  I have to get off cause the library system is hard to use, but I'm planning on doing two more hours of emailing today, so I'll be back on soon to finish off your email.

I love you!

Love,

Elder Smart

Hey Momma!

Hey hey hey, I'm the missionary, and the favorite.  I taught two classes at church on Sunday, and didn't know about either of them until I was at Church, so I think I've got her beat.  Especially cause one of them was in Relief Society.  Okay, I didn't completely teach that, but the teacher had all of the missionaries get up and tell everyone why they came on a mission.  So we did, and also took the opportunity (each of us) to mention how great conference was and just how much the Prophet and Apostles talked about missionary work and how important members are to us.

So the big news!  Michele is a member of the church! How amazing is that? She has been baptized for the remission of her sins, and she's been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  Our church is so cool.  Jesus is the man.  Is that a sacrilege? Oh well, He is.  I was able to perform the actual baptism, which was really cool, and really weird.  I always get chosen, and I don't know what to do about it, and I always get really nervous and think I'm going to forget the baptismal prayer right before I do it.  But I guess this is just fulfilling my Patriarchal Blessing.  There's a lot of stuff in my Patriarchal Blessing that I know was put in there for a reason.  Even reasons I didn't know of til now.  The Church is so cool.  Have I said that already?

So I was able to baptize her, and a man in the ward, Brother Gearing, was able to confirm her a member of the Church, and his blessing was amazing and talked a lot about Family History work and how her family was looking to her as a Savior for them.  I was really blessed to be able to be a part of that.  And Michele is soooo stinkin solid, I love it.  We did Fast and Testimony Meeting yesterday, although I accidently fasted the week before conference, so it was just Testimony Meeting for me, but either way, Michele got up and bore her testimony, and then in Relief Society did it again!! She talked a lot about how Elder Houghton and I literally found her like two days after a very desperate prayer to know what to do with her life.  Prayer works.  It's so amazing Mom.  Everything you taught me is the truth, and the Church is so true.  Thanks for being the best Mom for me, even when I was the crappy crap that I was.

I love the Book of Mormon.  You're right about me.. as always. Every day I make sure I read at least one chapter of it.  I have these set things that I've told myself I have to do, and that's one of them.  Preach My Gospel generally gets the rest of my time.  You need to read that, Mom, I don't know if you have or not, but it is so good, not only for missionaries but for everyone.  Go get yourself one, cause I stole all the ones we had at home. Sorry.  Actually, not sorry, they're being put to some pretty good use.

I loved that you basically bore your testimony to me.  It helps.  Please do that more often. And tell my sisters I'd like to hear it from them sometime too.  I always think of the time that you taught me that there are no coincidences, and there's not.  We were in that park for a reason, and Michele's whole salvation hinged on the fact that we decided to talk to her that day.  How crazy is that?  I'm here for a reason, and that's something that I definitely can't deny. 

Phil was weak. Straight up.  He did what many people on this Earth have done in the past.  He decided that the way to find out the truth about God was to ask people.  The only way to find out if God is there, and if He really loves us, is to ask HIM. Not a person, not a book, but to get on your knees and ask the Creator of the Universe.  That is the only way, and has always been the only way to know.  What Phil did was exactly what many people in history have done.  Some notable characters: King Henry VII who decided that his will was more important than God's, thus is born the most ridiculous church we come in contact with.  Church of England.  People really don't understand that it is such a joke that they're part of a church that even they understand was made by a man. Not God, a man.  And on top of that, for selfish reasons.  It's a joke, and I literally find it humorous that people belong to it.  Another few characters:  The Council of Nicaea.  They decided that God doesn't have a body and neither does His Son, and that they're actually one person along with the Holy Ghost.  That makes a bunch of sense doesn't it?

Anyways.

This is half of my message.  I have to get off cause the library system is hard to use, but I'm planning on doing two more hours of emailing today, so I'll be back on soon to finish off your email.

I love you!

Love,

Elder Smart

Hey Momma, (Sorry you're not Mimi to me, and I don't have children.. soo... You're Momma.)

Laura's baby is amazing!! That's so awesome, and she's so stinkin cute!  Your hair is really long! I'm glad everything went alright with that.  Tell her that she has another uncle.  I'm sure she'll trust you.  No moustaches this time?

I've seen all the sessions of conference, except the Sunday night session.  I watched it in our Stake Center in Coventry.  It's not in the middle of the night.  I watched Saturday morning session at 5:00pm on Saturday, then Priesthood on Sunday morning at 10:00, then Saturday PM sesh at 1:00pm, and then the Sunday morning sesh at 5:00.  So.. I guess some of it is on in the middle of the night, but we don't watch it in the middle of the night.  I plan on downloading the Sunday afternoon conference and listening to the talks one by one, every day for the next week or so.  It's a good companionship study, and it's so freakin good.

I absolutely loved conference.  I really am angry with myself for missing out on so much over the years.  Those talks are brilliant!  I don't know how anyone can argue that this church isn't run by Christ Himself.  People are so odd.  I hadn't heard of the women priesthood issue. Funny enough, there was a recent convert in Coventry that brought his sister to Priesthood meeting, haha the missionaries didn't want to turn her away, so they quickly went and picked up a couple sister missionaries serving in the area to watch with her as well! So.. I guess we were sort of part of that.  But not really.  Those women are ridiculous.  They quite obviously don't understand the priesthood, or for that matter the Church.  You're right, they don't know who actually runs this church.  Jesus Christ and God know what they're doing, and just because some self righteous women think that they need to have the Priesthood doesn't mean that God will change his mind.  What they obviously don't understand is that through covenants, they will have complete access to the priesthood.  They also need to read their scriptures a little more.  I think they're probably skipping out on the basics of being a member so that they can fight against God.  If they read and prayed every single day, and did it with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, they would understand that it's not their will that they should worry about.  God's will is the only thing that matters.  Period.  Until they figure that out, as Elder Holland says, they're in for many long, dark nights, and empty nets.

To be fair, I am so interested in so called "deep doctrine," and I do try and study and become accountable for greater knowledge, but what I've found is that all of the Gospel, no matter how deep always returns to the basics.  We need to pray. At all times.  Not just in the morning, not just at night, although, even that would help most people, but everywhere we go.  I find myself whispering prayers in my head about absolutely everything lately, and how is it turning out? Not the way I want it to, every time, but the way I know God wants it to, and that's infinitely more important.  We also need to read the scriptures.  So many people think they know everything that's in those books.  They're dead wrong.  And unfortunately, they're literally, spiritually, dead.  There is so much knowledge in the standard works, it's incredible.  Nobody, including the Prophet himself, knows the scriptures as well as we should.  We should spend all our time in those books, and the rest of the time showing others what is found in those books. 

The biggest problem this world has today is pride.  I'm hearing about so many people falling away from the Church.  It's amazing that they don't see and understand that it is not only foretold in the scriptures like a thousand million times, but also every sign and action of pride is quite explicitly detailed so that we can stay away from it.  It's so obvious, it's almost all the scriptures talk about.  Back to Elder Holland, who goes back to Christ.  The greatest commandment of all.  We need to love God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind.  I LOVE what he says.  "I'm not sure what our experience on Judgement day will be, but I'll be surprised if God doesn't ask us the same question that He asked Peter.  Did you love me?"  That one commandment could be it, if we weren't such idiots. Such stupidly dumb creatures.  If we loved God with everything that we had, there wouldn't be any problems with "the early church" or "gay marriage" or "women not having the priesthood."  We would all say, who gives a crap!? Let's just love God, and everything else will fall perfectly into play.

Sorry.  I rant.

This week has been good.  I've definitely overcome a lot of the things that I was stressed out about, although, I think I'm going to get a priesthood blessing from President Rasmussen this week, if he has time.  If not, I'll just ask my District Leader or something.  The other two missionaries are good now, so I don't worry about them as much.  Although, it will help when they get an investigator of their own.  Elder Wrenger and I have gotten along a lot better this week, and I'm sure this coming week is going to be even better.  Michele is still going to get baptized on Saturday, as far as I know, and Patrick will be dunked before I leave Warwick, mark my words.  Everything is totally fine.  I whinged last week, but I didn't mean for you to worry about me, only to realize what I'm coming to realize.  That this big bad world needs to repent.  That's including me, you, and everyone.  And my, does it take faith, humility and diligence.

Repentance, and faith.  That's it.  That's all I've been called to preach.  I'm starting to understand that a bit better now.  It's much more profound than I've ever realized and much more important than I think I understand.  Or ever will, to be fair.  But life is good Momma.  I like it here, and the Lord lives.  How cool is that?  You know what's even cooler? Listening to talks about how to raise your children in the Gospel and realizing just how amazing my parents are.  You guys win.  Give Dad a spiritual high-five, because you guys are amazing.  I love you so much.  I'm going to write more later on today, but I've ran out of time for now.  I love you so so much, and I want to be the same kind of awesome as you and Dad when I'm older. I'll need your help.  But I'm sure I'll get it, cause you're amazing.

I love you,

Love,

Colton

Hello Mum.

My week as a trainer has been alright.  I've been somewhat stressed out this week.. I'm not completely sure why.  I think it's because my testimony is growing a lot, and I feel somewhat inadequate at times.  Does that sound like it's from a missionary depression website?  Is there such thing?  I don't know.  I'm really into my studies at the moment.  You'd love how much church stuff I read.  That's not the whole reason I'm stressed.  Elder Wrenger is rad.  He's... pretty quiet.  And when we talk about anything that doesn't involve fitness or protein, he's even more quiet. So.. I've been trying really hard to be really interested in fitness and some guy named Elliot Hout or something.  He basically worships him.  By the way. I'm not into fitness.  I'm not out of shape, but I also don't really care to be in top physical condition right now. He does.

But he's cool enough.  I think I'm stressed about him a bit, stressed a bit about getting the other two missionaries in our branch situated and I feel like when I sleep, I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. So I've been trying to do certain things to get my body to be better.  Like not eating sugar after like seven, or doing certain like meditations right before I sleep.  It's.. sort of working. 

My greenie is really tall, but not as tall as Elder Lewis.

Favorite child? Yesssssss.

Yeah.  President called me about the card.  That just like made me mad.  Stupid stupid thieves.  They had to have done it at some ATM.. cause that's the only place I ever really use my card.  Or at the bike shop.  Those are the only two places.  The bike I got was cheaper, and doesn't look as nice.  That's not important.  The lock I got is quite nice, and will not be cut, even if they hacked at it for hours.  Which, they wont.  I shredded my card though, I still had it, so the number was definitely stolen, but can I just tell you how dumb? That's so dumb.

This week I went in and asked how much my trousers would cost to be slimmed down, and the lady didn't speak very good english (she was polish) but I think she told me it would cost me £20 a pop.. and I thought that was a heck of a lot more than it should be, so I haven't done it yet, but I'm going to try and find somewhere else that's cheaper.

What do I need from America? You could put some new pants in.  You know.. those pants.  Get me the ribbed ones, and.. I don't need tops.  If I left any jeans or bottoms that I could wear on P Day, that would be appreciated.  The jeans I have now have a huuuuuuuuge hole, but luckily Elder Houghton left some trousers that I can wriggle into.. but the button broke off.  Other than that? If you find my watch, that.  Not the black one. I have that. But the big one Brooke got for me in Thailand?  I have no idea where it is though, so don't worry if you can't find it.

On second thought, it was most definitely Hound Dog that stole my debit card deets.

Michele is awesome.  We taught her last night and everything is still good for the twelfth.  So, rock on.  She is having some trouble giving up her coffee, but she wants to, and she's committed to live all the commandments.  We have yet to teach tithing and chastity, but I don't expect any problems.  In fact, she probably already knows about both of them.

Patrick is good!  He's going to take a little longer, but he'll be baptized.  This week he admitted that he thinks it's true, but just wants to know for sure before he's baptized.  Coming from Patrick, that means, I already know it's true, and I really like you guys, I'm just a big fat scaredy cat, and don't know if I want to give up my smelly (fishy smelling) tea.  But, he'll come around to it eventually.. I've gotta say.. he kind of has to.  All his friends are mormons now, and basically the only things that get him out of his house are the missionaries, church, priesthood meetings and activities and going to dinner at members' houses.  So, we've got him.  He's gonna get dunked eventually.

I'm only allowed to punch out dumb thieves if they're about to punch me out.   In fact, in our little white handbook, which contains all our rules, it tells us to always carry some money that we could give to thieves if we had to.  Turn the other cheek, right?  You can probably guess that that cheek would be theirs, "turning" into mince on the pavement.  I'm kind of done with thieves, so good luck to anyone that I catch going for it.

No new investigators, mostly I've just been teaching Muscles how to find, so a lot of our time doing missionary work is me convincing him that mothers pushing trolleys wont be overly rude about him asking them how their day is going.  But isss all good.  We're going to find two people this week.

Ron Snyder would be an awesome saint.  Awesome.  And he's totally prepared. Don't be afraid to talk. (I know you aren't) But the worst thing ever is when you bring a member to help you teach and they just kind of stare at your investigator the whole time.  Jump in when you can bare testimony, and laugh at the missionaries' lame jokes.  Actually that probably wont be too much trouble, Ron will probably be roaring.  He's awesome.  I miss him.  Does he still want me to do my mission in the states?  Tell him that if those missionaries don't do the trick, that when I come back, he's as good as converted.

Don't let Taylor teach Ron.

AAAAAH, only five minutes left on the computer.  I'm going to try and get on again today sometime.. but if not, let my blitz through the rest of your questions.

Fishing in Alaska sounds fun.

I always lock all the doors, but we leave the window open at night to cool down our room.  Again, thieves are at a disadvantage right now, with my current love for them.

Haven't heard from Jaren.

I haven't really talked to Paxton or Eli in a long time.  Well.. or anyone back home that isn't family, for a good while..

But I'm sending some letters off this week, so it's all good.

I don't think Paxton trained after 3 weeks.  Probably three months.  That's two transfers, and everyone has to train for two transfers before they can train.  Good try though.

Logan is awesome, I'm glad for Megan and Houston.

I get to watch conference. Hahaha and I'm really excited.  That question is funny to me.

One minute left.  Sorry.

I love you Momma,

Hopefully there will be more later today.

Ta ra!

Love, Elder Smart

Hello Mum.

My week as a trainer has been alright.  I've been somewhat stressed out this week.. I'm not completely sure why.  I think it's because my testimony is growing a lot, and I feel somewhat inadequate at times.  Does that sound like it's from a missionary depression website?  Is there such thing?  I don't know.  I'm really into my studies at the moment.  You'd love how much church stuff I read.  That's not the whole reason I'm stressed.  Elder Wrenger is rad.  He's... pretty quiet.  And when we talk about anything that doesn't involve fitness or protein, he's even more quiet. So.. I've been trying really hard to be really interested in fitness and some guy named Elliot Hout or something.  He basically worships him.  By the way. I'm not into fitness.  I'm not out of shape, but I also don't really care to be in top physical condition right now. He does.

But he's cool enough.  I think I'm stressed about him a bit, stressed a bit about getting the other two missionaries in our branch situated and I feel like when I sleep, I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. So I've been trying to do certain things to get my body to be better.  Like not eating sugar after like seven, or doing certain like meditations right before I sleep.  It's.. sort of working. 

My greenie is really tall, but not as tall as Elder Lewis.

Favorite child? Yesssssss.

Yeah.  President called me about the card.  That just like made me mad.  Stupid stupid thieves.  They had to have done it at some ATM.. cause that's the only place I ever really use my card.  Or at the bike shop.  Those are the only two places.  The bike I got was cheaper, and doesn't look as nice.  That's not important.  The lock I got is quite nice, and will not be cut, even if they hacked at it for hours.  Which, they wont.  I shredded my card though, I still had it, so the number was definitely stolen, but can I just tell you how dumb? That's so dumb.

This week I went in and asked how much my trousers would cost to be slimmed down, and the lady didn't speak very good english (she was polish) but I think she told me it would cost me £20 a pop.. and I thought that was a heck of a lot more than it should be, so I haven't done it yet, but I'm going to try and find somewhere else that's cheaper.

What do I need from America? You could put some new pants in.  You know.. those pants.  Get me the ribbed ones, and.. I don't need tops.  If I left any jeans or bottoms that I could wear on P Day, that would be appreciated.  The jeans I have now have a huuuuuuuuge hole, but luckily Elder Houghton left some trousers that I can wriggle into.. but the button broke off.  Other than that? If you find my watch, that.  Not the black one. I have that. But the big one Brooke got for me in Thailand?  I have no idea where it is though, so don't worry if you can't find it.

On second thought, it was most definitely Hound Dog that stole my debit card deets.

Michele is awesome.  We taught her last night and everything is still good for the twelfth.  So, rock on.  She is having some trouble giving up her coffee, but she wants to, and she's committed to live all the commandments.  We have yet to teach tithing and chastity, but I don't expect any problems.  In fact, she probably already knows about both of them.

Patrick is good!  He's going to take a little longer, but he'll be baptized.  This week he admitted that he thinks it's true, but just wants to know for sure before he's baptized.  Coming from Patrick, that means, I already know it's true, and I really like you guys, I'm just a big fat scaredy cat, and don't know if I want to give up my smelly (fishy smelling) tea.  But, he'll come around to it eventually.. I've gotta say.. he kind of has to.  All his friends are mormons now, and basically the only things that get him out of his house are the missionaries, church, priesthood meetings and activities and going to dinner at members' houses.  So, we've got him.  He's gonna get dunked eventually.

I'm only allowed to punch out dumb thieves if they're about to punch me out.   In fact, in our little white handbook, which contains all our rules, it tells us to always carry some money that we could give to thieves if we had to.  Turn the other cheek, right?  You can probably guess that that cheek would be theirs, "turning" into mince on the pavement.  I'm kind of done with thieves, so good luck to anyone that I catch going for it.

No new investigators, mostly I've just been teaching Muscles how to find, so a lot of our time doing missionary work is me convincing him that mothers pushing trolleys wont be overly rude about him asking them how their day is going.  But isss all good.  We're going to find two people this week.

Ron Snyder would be an awesome saint.  Awesome.  And he's totally prepared. Don't be afraid to talk. (I know you aren't) But the worst thing ever is when you bring a member to help you teach and they just kind of stare at your investigator the whole time.  Jump in when you can bare testimony, and laugh at the missionaries' lame jokes.  Actually that probably wont be too much trouble, Ron will probably be roaring.  He's awesome.  I miss him.  Does he still want me to do my mission in the states?  Tell him that if those missionaries don't do the trick, that when I come back, he's as good as converted.

Don't let Taylor teach Ron.

AAAAAH, only five minutes left on the computer.  I'm going to try and get on again today sometime.. but if not, let my blitz through the rest of your questions.

Fishing in Alaska sounds fun.

I always lock all the doors, but we leave the window open at night to cool down our room.  Again, thieves are at a disadvantage right now, with my current love for them.

Haven't heard from Jaren.

I haven't really talked to Paxton or Eli in a long time.  Well.. or anyone back home that isn't family, for a good while..

But I'm sending some letters off this week, so it's all good.

I don't think Paxton trained after 3 weeks.  Probably three months.  That's two transfers, and everyone has to train for two transfers before they can train.  Good try though.

Logan is awesome, I'm glad for Megan and Houston.

I get to watch conference. Hahaha and I'm really excited.  That question is funny to me.

One minute left.  Sorry.
I love you Momma,

Hopefully there will be more later today.

Ta ra!

Love, Elder Smart