Helllllloooooooo Mom!

Haha I told Shananne to friend you on Facebook.  She's great.  She's fourteen and was part of one of the families that I love so much back in Tamworth.  The Youngs.  She has three little brothers, and Elder Lewis and I got really close with the whole family.  They called us both Uncle.  I cried when I said good bye in Tamworth.  I love them so much.  No, Shananne, doesn't have a thing for me, she just somewhat craves an male role model.. Her mom is single, and Shananne doesn't have any grandfathers either.. Her father is a douche, and really missionaries have kinda fit the part of "the man" in that house.  It's not weird, they just don't have any good influences from men, and the whole family really craves it, even if they would never admit it.  Most of them call me Smartie Pants, and they're definitely definitely a family I need to see when I come back to visit my mission.  Which means, you will see them as well, if everything goes according to the plan we had when I left.  They're awesome though, and I love them. And she came with her mother, and grandmother.  They would never let the kids go alone.  A lot of parents here might though..

By train, it takes about an hour to get to Leamington from Tamworth.  If there was a train that went straight here, maybe half an hour though.  The problem is that you have to go through Birmingham, which is kind of out of the way.   But it's not too far.

Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that guy we met.  He was cool, and he was just checking out the gardens in town centre when he saw us.  He and his two sons ran us down and we had a quick, but good chat, and they took our picture and sent it to you!  That was fun, and I was really disheartened with the finding at that point, so it was a really good pick-me-up.

By the way, finding.  Tracting falls into the category of finding.  But finding is exactly what it sounds like.  We go out and either tract, or talk to people on the streets, or go to former investigators, or people that we have recently talked to, and gave stuff to.  It's the grunt work of missionary work, and it's the hardest part.  But, you have to find if you want to teach.  That's why in the broadcast, they stressed member missionary work so hard.  Instead of us blindly talking to people on the street, members know so many people that we could go talk to, or meet with, or whatever, and that way, if the person does want to hear about the gospel, then they already have a friend, the member gets to do missionary work (a responsibility that every member has as a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and we don't have to listen to the ninth person say they're too busy to listen to us or take a card, as they step into a pub.  It's a win-win-win.  Before my mission, I was always afraid of referring missionaries to talk to people, but we really aren't as pushy and scary as I thought missionaries were before my mission.  So, think of all the people you love, that don't have the gospel in their life, and write their names and addresses down, and call the missionaries over for a dinner appointment.  If they impress you, give them the names.  If they don't impress, don't give them the names.  Easy as that.  Sorry, that's my plug for member-referrals.  They're the best, and most efficient way for missionaries to do missionary work.

Back to your list of questions:

My companion does look like a child in real life as well.  And yes, I'm having troubles with him.  We have some things in common, but his whole life he's played it very very safe. He doesn't say the words crap, or butt, or shut up, or dang, or suck.  I, on the other hand, do.  He even got mad at me the other night for saying 'fetch'. It was straight out of The Best Two Years, except after I said "Fetch, fetch, fetchity fetch fetch." He didn't chase me down and hog tie me, nor did President walk in.  In fact, had he even tried to do anything to me, I probably would've hog tied him.  He is a robot though.  I really don't think he's done anything fun his whole life.  We get along fine enough, but he's one of those people that you only write letters to every ten years to stay in contact.. He's going to make an excellent father, and husband, and chemist, or whatever when he's older.. he just is probably the most boring person.. ever.  But whatever.  You're right, I'm generally very easy going, and can get along with pretty much anyone, and I do get along with him, but it just might be an eternity of a 6-12 weeks with him.

CHAVs.  I thought I explained them to you in one of my emails.. oh well.  A CHAV is Counsel House And Violent.  Counsel houses are subsidized housing, and are filled with a few different kinds of people.  Poor people down on their luck, single mothers, or lazy people that want to ride on benefits.  CHAVs are a product of the last.  Usually CHAVs are descendants of two or three generations of fatherless, non-working families that feel entitled to benefits to make their way in life.  If that was it, I think they'd be okay.  But they think they're really cool, and really tough.  In reality, they're usually petty-thieves, who basically disregard hygiene, and smoke weed all day.  They especially love fire insults at missionaries, but not until missionaries have completely passed them and it would be an absolute hassle to go and confront them about it.  They're huge wusses.  In reality, they're just nuisances.  They walk around in full track-suits (sweats) and their sweats have to match their trainers (sneakers) and they usually have a shaved head and they walk around flexing their traps, which they don't actually have.  Basically, they'd be beat up anywhere in the States.  There are plenty of fun stories about CHAVs in the missionary life.  I think the ultimate being when CHAVs decided to try and steal from a small brazilian missionary, who they didn't know was also a professional kick-boxer.  Haha, stupid CHAV.  The elder ended up knocking him clean unconscious, and walked off.  Anyways, there's not many of them in Leamington.  There weren't many in Tamworth, but there is a whole lot less, here.  Ask Ange about it.

I think I'm going to get the trousers a bit tweaked, and make them a little less American-baggy.  Whether or not that happens in the near future, I'm not really sure.

We don't really work much with the other elders in Warwick, basically because Elder Houghton doesn't like them.  I tend to like them a lot more than my own companion, but the sight&sound rule makes things awkward, so I've just given up on having a good time here, and instead I'll just mush into robot missionary work.  It'll be good.. or whatever.  I'm just going to be very very bored.  Yes, I think the Warwick elders are a little bit lazier, but they're also about one million times more human.  Elder Houghton seems to think they are very lazy, and I think he thinks I'm less of a missionary for liking them.. Oh well.  Only four and a half more weeks.. I hope.

The branch is very cool, and very intelligent.  I like them.  It's small, but fun.  The chapel, however, is about the nicest I've seen.  It's small, but it has two full stories.  It's really cool.  Limhi is the man.  We found out yesterday that he is one of 13 children in his family, and all of them have BoM or Bible names.  Haha.  He's really cool though, but he's moving to Chicago for a year, in a few months.  The branch is really cool though, I like them.

I haven't been to Warwick Castle yet, but it's on the list of things to do while I'm here.  There's also a castle (ruins) in Kenilworth, that is in my area, as well as Shakespeare's birthplace, which is all in my area.  It's a really cool area.

And that's all of your questions.  Are those ever going to die down?  I was hoping after that first email when you terrorized me with questions that these would get less and less. I should have known.  I bet it takes you years to get home from Church still.  Tell Brooke I'm sorry.

So this week for me, and this is going to have to be fast, cause I've taken an hour to answer all of your questions, we have found two investigators, one is named Brian and the other is Patrick.  Brian is more solid than Patrick, but if Patrick converts, he'll have a way cooler story.  I'll tell you more about them, when I find more out about them. 

Other than that, a lot of finding again. Fun.

This week will be cool though, it's my first interview with President since I got here.  He's been busy.

Well, Remy sounds amazing, I know people are looking out for me, I'm doing my best to not get hit by a car, or stabbed by a homeless person.. but no promises.  Tell everyone in the world sorry, because I can't get to their emails when my mother expects a solid ten page email.

I like talking to you though.

Oh, and I love you.

Mind the gap,

Elder Smart