The Momma,

Flogged is having an appointment, sometimes even confirming it via a phone call, and then showing up to the address and nobody is there, no note or anything.  We even had one a few weeks ago that we confirmed, knocked on the door, nobody answered, we texted the guy, and he responded and said he was home, we knocked again, and still no one answered.  Ultra-flog.

Pretty much we get whipped.  It takes a whole lot less time to tell us to get lost when we try and set the appointment up.  But no.  Many people give us fake details, or sometimes real details and then don't show up.

We weren't able to do the First Vision a million times.  Monday night we went out to find a homeless guy in city centre.  We found one, and talked to him for a bit, tried to gear things towards the first vision, and then he told us he had to puke, and then he walked to the street and did.  So hard.  I almost did as well.  He told us to get lost* (*not really his words, but I'm a missionary and shouldn't be repeating his words.)

Do we have homeless men?  I don't think I'm even going to answer that question.

We have a Stop Smoking Program, and it's actually really cool.  It's all about turning off the bells as they put it.  Apparently when you're addicted to smoking, certain things make bells go off in your mind, and the only way addicts know how to turn them off is to smoke (or whatever you're addicted to.)  So the whole program is about turning those bells off, instead ignoring them like most other programs do, or dampening them like patches and stuff does.  It's pretty interesting, but it works.  Some of the steps are like brushing your teeth the second you wake up, and before and after every single meal. Also, drinking grapefruit juice after every meal.  It's basically like saying all the things that make you want to smoke, we're going to replace with something that you don't currently do.  And won't trigger the bells to make you smoke.  Instead of having a fag after tea. (That's having a cigarette after dinner.) They'll have a glass of Grapefruit juice that won't remind them of cigarettes in any way.  There's fifteen steps and most of them are weird like that, but apparently something like 90% of people that do all of the steps for a week will be totally off cigarettes, and wont have the bells anymore.  That other 10% will just take another week of the program.  Pretty cool!  Plus some of the steps are like pray, or cut out tea and alcohol for the week, so it's a good introductory to the Gospel.

Wednesfield.  Like Wednesday but instead of day, field.  You can see a lot of degradation in British English.  This place apparently used to be called Wodensfield.  Then it slowly turned into what it is now Wednesfield.  If you say Wodensfield 20 times in a row, focusing less and less on what you're saying, it turns into Wednesfield.  Same thing with the pronunciation of Birmingham.  We say Burming-Ham.  Here they say buh ming umm.  But I've realized that we didn't totally get rid of that in American English either, for example say the name Brigham.  Weird.

I did burn a shirt on Thursday.  It was fun.  And it was a crappy £5 one that I bought that was too small.  So don't worry.  I'll send pictures sometime.  Not today, cause I forgot my old camera, which I use as a card reader.  Sorry!

Okay, so I looked up Elder 'Toshira' (Tuh Sheer Uh) and his name is actually Elder Jose A. Teixeira.  Sorry.  Now look him up.

I'm not sad you sold Nigel.  I'm very happy in fact!  I don't want him back.  I loved him, but I also want something that doesn't feel like I'm dragging my butt on the asphalt.  Haha that was a good sentence. Megan and Houston are just the favorite cousins that I'd like to have him.  He's even quite experienced driving up Sardine Canyon.  Even in a snowstorm.  Did I tell you I did that?  Probably not.  Oh well. I did.  It was awesome.  He was a beast, and tore right through the snow like I had chains on.  Thinking back, it was probably Dad.  Haha how's that for your daily heart attack? Remember, I love you.

We don't have much time, but for your information I am going to look at suits today, and I even prayed last night that I'd like one enough to buy it.  I might have a little time later, but probably not.

Happy Mothering Day yesterday, by the way.  The British have to make everything sound a bit creepier.  It's their Mothers' Day.  Elder Baker skyped since he's going home like a week after American Mothers' Day.  That's when I'll be skyping you.

I'm stoked for Conference this weekend though.  We don't watch it from our couch though.

Thanks for telling Ange Happy Birthday, and tell Rem thanks for facetiming her.

I love you!

Have a great week!

Love,

Elder Smart