You alright Mum,

 

Yes.  Send those bubble drawings to me.  Remy is a genius.  Can she read too?  Does she say bippo? 

 

Aaron has more restraint than me I think.  I think I would just have to get the punch in the face out of the way.  I know lawsuits and everything.. but I think that's what I need to get over it.  Just one clean punch to the nose, and then it's over.  No extraodinary violence, but if he got a bloody nose, I might smile a bit. I think I'm not only frustrated about all the things he did to Brooke, but also, just like letting me down.  I looked up to him a lot.  You already know that.  But it's just.. disappointing to me.  Nothing quite like the frustration that I'm sure Brooke feels, but still substantial in my nearly twenty year life experience window.

 

I know you want this amazing list of people that I'm teaching right now and everything.. but to be frank, I'm somewhat disappointed with my investigators right now.  We're teaching these two old people that absolutely love us, but I don't think they're going to change anything in their life, which means we should drop them, but honestly we're afraid of just breaking their little hearts. Especially Shepdawg.  He loves them. I, on the other hand, am quite bored with them.  They're nice enough, but they just tell Tommy Cooper jokes the whole time we're there, and I think Tommy Cooper might've been the most unfunny person on the whole planet.  But they worship this guy.  I don't even know him, and actually he might be funny, but the jokes that Raymond (his name, and hers is Janet) the jokes that Ray picks out are awful.  English people are always very quick to say that Americans don't understand their humor, but I think the real problem is that we absolutely do, and it's just plain not funny.  This is an isolated experience, but really. Just not funny. I generally laugh though, just because of how terrible they are (not morally or anything). Like Dad's but even worse.  Plus as Ray recites these jokes for the umpteenth time, Janet is just howling cause she thinks it's so funny.  I think they're lonely.  They're not married and they don't live together, but they do absolutely everything together.

 

So that's them.

 

Our only real other investigators right now, we got this week, and they're not solid.  One is a woman from Zimbabwe, named Caroline, and she's really cool, but it sounds like she buys into social religion.  By that I mean, the only reason she goes to church is because her friends do, and that's time to talk.  She seems sincere that if she got an answer that she needed to do something else in her life, she would follow it.  But.. maybe I lack faith.  I have my doubts.  We're seeing her again on Friday.

 

Another is a born-again guy, that basically is just trying to figure out why mormons are going to hell.  He knows that much.  What he can't figure out is why.  We're just too good.  He's a really sincere guy, and he's basically just trying to do the same thing we're trying to do. So, I think we neutralize each other.  But hopefully he'll take up our offer to actually try a few things, and then hopefully the Spirit is there to back us up.  But he's "experienced" so many different healings, and gifts of the spirit, that I think he's convinced that he's found the right way.  Born agains are really good people.  They just can't imagine there is anything other than the bible.  Neither can the rest of the world though.  I like this guy though.  He's like 25ish, and really legitimate, just wrong.  His name is Liam though.

 

The family that I told you about last week.  My only update is this.  We called our middle-contact.  This guy named Andy that is in Harbourne ward (inner-city Birmingham) and he's going to go over tonight and just talk about what we do.  Then we'll go over and in a month or two, they'll be baptized.  I'm excited.  I want to get all this started with them though, cause they seem like really cool people.

 

This week we went on exchange with our Zone Leaders.  Elder Dutton came with me, and it was good.  To explain him, I'd say think of the most fancy purse, or bag or something you've seen, with nothing inside.  He's a good guy.  Just.. kind of empty. Boring. An awesome missionary though. But not much to talk about, even though we're into a lot of the same stuff, and he even went to Eli's Charter School.  He's from Riverton, so closeby too.. Just maybe.. to agreeable.  I hate that that's a thing.  I hate when people wont tell me I'm an idiot.  I don't like when people don't actually give me criticism.  That sounds weird.  But getting told a million times, "Oh man, you're a great Elder."  It's like, well thanks dude, but I know I didn't do everything right. I'm really not just being humble either. I think we both know that, don't we Mom?  Humility isn't one of my strong-suits.  (Is that the term? I don't know that I've actually ever written out that phrase.)

 

Agreeable people.  That's basically how Shepherd is too.  I could say the most outlandish weird thing, and he'd probably just side with me.  The difference between Dutton and Shephard is that Dutton is aiming to get somewhere by being so nice and agreeable, where I think Shephard is just trying to avoid any kind of disagreement.  Both just kind of annoying though.  I think I kind of miss Elder Lewis telling me that I was the strangest person he's ever met.  Cause he's right.  I'm a weirdo.  But I say something like "I'm going to only eat carrots for an entire week." to Shepherd, and he's like "Yeah, that's cool."  Not "What the crap is wrong with you?".  I need some one to argue with.  Like Eli.  I like to argue.  It's a bad thing.  Especially because I'm not supposed to do it.  But Muslims and J Dubs just want to so bad, and I have to say no. Sometimes I do it though, and it usually doesn't get me anywhere, but it's pretty fun.  You should see a Muslim's face when you tell them that God loves them just as much as Muhammed.  They don't like the sound of that. Or telling J Dubs that I celebrate Christmas and I think of my Savior and love having my family around me, and that I don't worship a Sun God on the 25th, and that the paganistic side of things doesn't exist anymore.  Or when you tell them that God is the same yesterday today and forever, and that if he worked through prophets at one time, he probably wouldn't change that.  Because he's the same.

 

It's bad.  I need Eli and Jake to argue with. I wonder if they're feeling that urge as well.  I'll ask them.  I don't know if I ever answered your question, but I do stay in contact with them. For the most part.  I should more.

 

Yes. I got everything that was supposed to be in the package and I loved it.  A lot.  I opened the first bag of Cheetohs yesterday, and reaffirmed my testimony that the best snack food that will ever exist has already been created.

 

I really liked the ties.  They're fun.

 

I've been bad at sending things home though.  I haven't done it yet.  I don't really feel like I have enough personal things.. so I'll just throw it in the box and send it.  I'm just kind of lazy about that I think.  It'll be 90% chocolate.

 

I would like that granola recipe, it's about all I eat for breakfast anymore, and I always buy it at the store, but I think I like yours about ten times as much.

 

I love packages.  You can send them to me anytime you want.

 

I'm glad at least one kid knows that a football tee is better than an ipad.

 

iPads are good though, and I'm getting pretty impatient about my President getting us ours, my cold isn't though.  It's still thriving with me going out in the rain at night, and getting soaked to the core.  Even when I have all my waterproof and everything on, my cold will never die.

 

Maybe I have pneumonia.  That'd be fun.

 

Dates sound nice.  I'll be honest.  I got sort of trunky over Christmas, and I wished I could go on a date with a girl.  A specific girl. But dates are fun.  I'm glad you got to use him for his money.  Haha and for him, and his personality or whatever. Unimportant things.

 

I would like some little posters.  I like his illustrations.

 

I think that's all.  I'm always writing your email for like a million years and then have no time to write anyone else.  I love you.

 

Love,

Elder Smart